This farmer is feeling a burning sensation… Jealousy

jealousy

What do you do when your partner's flirty ways leave you feeling insecure? This farmer is going out of her mind due to her boyfriend's flirty behaviour. Photo: Supplied/ Food For Mzansi

Green-eyed sheep farmer from Kuruman in the Northern Cape writes…

Liewe Lulu

Apart from losing the farm I have worked so hard to build, I think losing my bae would be my worst fear.

I farm with a small herd of sheep and a few pigs and met my man at an auction last year. He is the most amazing man I have ever met. He always makes me laugh and makes me feel valued.

We could not be any different from each other, I am reserved while he is quite the social butterfly, especially around the ladies.

Our dynamic has changed a bit in the recent months. He has many friends, is quite charming and has a flirty personality.

It catches me off guard sometimes and I think he is starting to get annoyed with my comments when we are in certain situations that involve other females.

I have never been the jealous type and feel like I am losing myself. Whenever I communicate my discomfort in his interaction with other women, he tells me that I do not trust him and then storms off.

I fear the green-eyed monster of jealousy within is going to see my relationship come to an end. How do I stop her from suffocating our relationship?

My Dearest Green-eyes

The charm of 10 000 Drakes, the jawline of a whole Kofi Siriboe and suave of Rico Suave. Girl, that “naturally flirty” bullpoop would make anyone with a brain and eyes jealous!

Yes, jealousy makes you nasty. You are human and sometimes we tap into those animalistic instincts. It’s not a cute trait, but it happens.

Now Liewe Lulu had a little bit of trouble with this response. I hate to see a smart woman pin all the blame of their relationship woes on themselves – mans is not exactly innocent. I mean what would happen if he let that “naturally flirty” demeanour rest for the sake of your feelings?

What would happen if he thought before he acted and did not flirt with all these other females in these streets? It upsets you and you have said so, and he won’t change because it is just a part of who he is?

You change for the ones you love. You are not insecure or even jealous if you speak out on blatant disrespect. Kanti what must you do, watch idly while he charms the socks off someone else?

Would he like it if you reciprocated that energy? Disrespect is disrespect.

Asking for the bare minimum in a relationship should not cost you your peace.

I suggest you lay cards on the table and give concrete examples of scenarios where you were made to feel disrespected.

While your feelings are valid, I must also ask what exactly constitutes as flirting in your eyes? Just be careful not tip the jealousy scale towards irrational psycho also…

Unhealthy jealous behaviour comes from a place of deep-rooted insecurity. When we allow insecurity to run rampant in our relationship it can quickly grow into paranoia and obsession. That can destroy the very relationship you are so afraid to lose.

Check yourself, sis.

Be vocal about your concerns. Don’t just pout and expect him to smell that you are annoyed. You are an adult with and adult mouth that you must use to speak!

Write to Liewe Lulu

Liewe Lulu is Food For Mzansi’s agri agony aunty. The content in this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical and/or psychological advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of a qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding any medical condition.
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