Liewe Lulu: Does love always have to be a game?

Liewe Lulu says love can be a game. Have fun.

A poultry farmer wonders if playing the long dating game is worth it. Photo: Food For Mzansi

Fed-up Chick from Kroonstad, Free State writes…

Liewe Lulu…

at what point do silly flirting games stop? Is it necessary that I follow a flirting blueprint to make sure that the man I am seeing sticks around? I am going on strike because I hate it here. The fresh phase of the relationship is the worst.

I am 28, flourishing as a poultry business owner and think I have only been in love once. I am attracted to men with ambition, who work hard and who are not afraid to get their hands dirty.

I recently met someone and things have been going well. But for the past three months, I’m having to act like this soft woman, who smiles at appropriate times, makes cute mistakes, inserts a joke here or a sweet giggle there. It’s exhausting!

I want to be me, unfiltered and authentic. How do I make him like me for me?

Fed-up, babes,

Did you say strike? Didn’t you know that chasing men is one of the greatest thrills there is?

Imagine rebelling against Mother Nature, who is the reason why you smile at appropriate times and bat your eyelashes so you can bewitch a man into loving you.

*Cue eyeroll*

Anyway, here’s the real tea sis: Relationships are a mystery. But they’re supposed to fun too. And games!

If you really think about it, dating is a lot like gambling.

It’s exciting, the outcome is unknown and there’s always a risk involved. You go on a date or send a message on Tinder, and you never know how the person on the receiving end would respond. They could be totally into you, or turned off.

High risk, high reward. Give and take. All you can do is follow your instincts.

I was stalking Al Gore on the internet the other day and happened upon an interesting doccie. Some curious British scientists observed 100 men and women in a speed dating experiment.

Some ladies tried to be nonchalant, fought the urge to smile and looked uninterested. But there was one rebel in the mix who gave it her all. She followed her unfiltered instincts, smiled, listened attentively and gave a little compliment here and there. She killed it.

I’m not saying stop being you. I’m saying drop the seriousness sometimes. Let your instincts guide you through the social constructs of dating. Forget about a rule book or blueprint. Make your own. Don’t shrink yourself. Be unapologetically you. And have fun.

Keep playing the game for the heck of it. You are young. The world is your oyster! Date as many men as you would like. Curve as many men as you like. You are entitled to as many do-overs as you want until you find the right one.

Write to Liewe Lulu

Liewe Lulu is Food For Mzansi’s agri agony aunty. The content in this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical and/or psychological advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of a qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding any medical condition.
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