Liewe Lulu: Should I meet the other woman?

liewe lulu

This Gauteng farmer has a dilemma: her hubby had an affair and she wants to meet the mistress. Your favourite agri agony aunt has advice. Photo: Food For Mzansi

Broken and impaired from Heidelberg, Gauteng writes…

My husband came clean about having an affair and is adamant he does not want a divorce.

We have been married for 10 years and started a goat farming business together.

I am hurt, confused and have grown curious about his mistress. We have talked, he has answered all my questions and confessed that it was only about sex.

I feel like I need to have a sit-down to get her side of the story. I don’t want to get violent or scream at her or even embarrass her. I just want to meet and ask her about the affair so I can move on and decide if I want to leave him or not. Please help.

My dearest Broken

This is the hottest cup of tea I have sipped in ages. Liewe Lulu is clutching her pearls! Let me compose myself. I must say that I am a little on the fence, because I am a firm believer that closures are for wigs and not people. I am also loving the idea because imagine a world where husbands knew that wives would be meeting the “other woman” for a glass of bubbly or two. Infidelity rates would plummet! I am gagged by this idea, sis. I also imagine it would be handled with all your grace.

Let’s say you make history and go through with it and get her side of the story. If she is as graceful as you, she would do you the kindness of spilling the beans of their sordid affair. But now do you really want to know how many times your scumbag of a husband told her that he loved her? Or liked her scent better than yours? Or how he took her to your favourite restaurant?

*Siri, play Beyonce’s Lemonade*


Let’s start with a solo powwow first and consider the odds of both good and bad that may arise from meeting the other woman. You have already gone through hell with the pain of this betrayal. Do you really want to go through more?

Some situations just need us to let sleeping dogs lie, no matter how much it hurts.

Write to Liewe Lulu

Liewe Lulu is Food For Mzansi’s agri agony aunty. The content in this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical and/or psychological advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of a qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding any medical condition.
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