Over The Edge from Bela-Bela in Limpopo writes…

Liewe Lulu,

I like to think that I am a smart girl who can make good decisions for my life. Recently, though, I have been thrown off my game by an ex. I was in a relationship with this man for the better part of a year and we even lived together while I was studying in Johannesburg.

I graduated and started a new job in March and moved to Limpopo. The idea of me moving away from him already put a strain on our relationship, but we planned to visit each other often.

Then the lockdown happened, he grew distant and I found out that he was unfaithful. It has been four months since we broke up and I eventually came to grips with the fact that we were no longer together. That is, until last week when he sent me a text telling me that he will be in town for work. He has even asked me to meet up.

My thoughts are filled with fantasies of him saying “I made a mistake. I am moving here. Marry me!” I have already thought about what proposal outfit I am going to wear and started a crash diet.

I have got all these scenarios down, but my question is, Lulu, should I even bother spending an evening with this man? If I do end up seeing him, do I play it cool? Should I downplay the pain he put me through? I have lost perspective. Help…

 

My Dearest Over The Edge…

Shuu, babes, slow your roll! Should you bother? Please, even if I handcuffed you and kept you hostage in an underground cell you would find a way to see this man. So, go my darling. But be warned that what you have imagined and the reality of the situation could leave you disappointed.

Too many times we are caught in the “what if” stage. And that is exactly what it is, what if? That is not reality. I mean, what if this colossal ass of a man is coming to see you because he wants to make amends for being a rubbish boyfriend? What if he has an incurable disease, or what if he wants to break some important news to you or something? Don’t jump to conclusions.

You will never know what this man wants unless he says it, so don’t let your drummed-up fantasies get the best of you. You do not have the gift of foresight nor do you know what the future holds, so take a chill pill and read the situation first.