Ultimatum Champion from Rustenburg in the North West writes…
Liewe Lulu…
I am in a long-term relationship, but I’m not sure it’s going anywhere. Thato and I started dating four years ago and we’ve made amazing memories together. But I don’t know if it’s enough to stay together. We’ve been arguing non-stop and he’s refusing to open up.
He used to be a loving guy, showering me in gifts, but since the drought hit his farming business he has completely shut me out. I understand that he might be going through a financial crisis and I’ve asked him so many times to open up to me. I even resorted to giving him ultimatums until I get blue in the face, but my he’s just not budging. All I want is for him to talk to me, but he is cold and gives me the silent treatment me when he is in a bad mood.
I love him, but if this man doesn’t open up already, I’m giving up… Help! I am scared my relationship is over…
My Dearest Ultimatum Champion…
Babes, is this man a rock? Because it clearly sounds like he is weighing very heavy on your shoulders. In the words of Nina Simone, “you have to learn to get up from the table when love is no longer being served.” Heed these words and do yourself a favour – create space between yourself and your beau. This way he can figure out his shit and you can focus on you.
At this point, nana, it seems like you are in a relationship with yourself. It’s all on him. Tell him that you are concerned that you do not see yourself spending an additional four years of wasted time without any assurance that he is going to snap out of it. You deserve way better than what you currently getting.
Love is all about choosing who to give your heart to. It’s freely exercising affection and care and he doesn’t seem to want to give it to you. If push comes to shove and he wants out, accept this. Come to terms with this. It hurts, but that is the reality.
