Defeated Makoti from Zwelitsha in King Williams Town in the Eastern Cape writes… 

Liewe Lulu, where do I even begin. I met my super bae Sipho in my hometown of Pretoria five years ago when we were still at university. It was love at first sight, in fact. I always knew he was the one and didn’t hesitate to say yes when he asked me to marry him last year.  

We moved to his family home in King Williams Town after his father passed away recently. He had to take over his family farmstead and that meant packing up our life in Pretoria and moving to the Eastern Cape.  

He is the love of my life and treats me like a queen and I didn’t think twice about moving. Problem is, I have a bit of a complicated relationship with my new mother–in–law. I respect her, but she has been a bit of a thorn in my side and believes I’m not a real makoti. As a city girl I feel like she thinks that I am not good enough for her son. 

I have honestly bent over backwards for this woman and have tried to remain as humble as I possibly can. Is our love enough to carry me through this? I am thinking of moving back to Pretoria, but I fear I might lose Sipho in the process… Help a makoti out!  

My Dearest Defeated Makoti… 

Eish nana. By moving back to the city, don’t you think that you would be giving your monster-in-law exactly what she wants?  

I suspect she’s testing you. And I say suba weak babes, fight her. Not physically of course, but through your sheer will and resilience to withstand bullsh*t. At the end of the day you don’t have anything to prove to anybody but yourself. You are not alone in this struggle. Women like uMama are everywhere so don’t let her get to you.  

Another question, what has your hubby said? Sit Sipho down and tell him how you feel. This is how you will know whether he will be a supportive husband or not. How he stands up to his mother over the way she treats you will be the determining factor in the success of your marriage.