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Liewe Lulu: My monster-in-law says I’m not a real Makoti

20th May 2021
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This week's Agri calendar features a wine and food event, an online discussion on biofilms the dairy industry and another on cutting fertiliser costs. There's also a livestock auction to look out for and an online event about soil. Include your event to the calendar by emailing info@foodformzansi.com. Photo: Supplied/Food For Mzansi

This week’s agriculture events: 15 to 18 August 2022

15th August 2022
Andile Matukane, founder of Farmers Choice and Devroll Legodi, founder of Devroll Herbs, joined a recent session of Food For Mzansi’s Gather To Grow on twitter o discuss the cultivation of spring onions in Mzansi. Photo: Supplied/Food For Mzansi

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    Leanne Gammage and Jackson Andrew, co-founders of Masterstock Cape Wild Food. Masterstock Cape Wild Food is a speciality salt brand focused on regenerative agriculture. Photo: Supplied/Food For Mzansi

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Liewe Lulu: My monster-in-law says I’m not a real Makoti

by Noluthando Ngcakani
20th May 2021
in Liewe Lulu, Lifestyle
Reading Time: 4 mins read
A A

Wait hold up? It's 2020, you do not have suffer under out dated makoti practices babes.

Defeated Makoti from Zwelitsha in King Williams Town in the Eastern Cape writes… 

Liewe Lulu, where do I even begin. I met my super bae Sipho in my hometown of Pretoria five years ago when we were still at university. It was love at first sight, in fact. I always knew he was the one and didn’t hesitate to say yes when he asked me to marry him last year.  

We moved to his family home in King Williams Town after his father passed away recently. He had to take over his family farmstead and that meant packing up our life in Pretoria and moving to the Eastern Cape.  

He is the love of my life and treats me like a queen and I didn’t think twice about moving. Problem is, I have a bit of a complicated relationship with my new mother–in–law. I respect her, but she has been a bit of a thorn in my side and believes I’m not a real makoti. As a city girl I feel like she thinks that I am not good enough for her son. 

I have honestly bent over backwards for this woman and have tried to remain as humble as I possibly can. Is our love enough to carry me through this? I am thinking of moving back to Pretoria, but I fear I might lose Sipho in the process… Help a makoti out!  

My Dearest Defeated Makoti… 

Eish nana. By moving back to the city, don’t you think that you would be giving your monster-in-law exactly what she wants?  

I suspect she’s testing you. And I say suba weak babes, fight her. Not physically of course, but through your sheer will and resilience to withstand bullsh*t. At the end of the day you don’t have anything to prove to anybody but yourself. You are not alone in this struggle. Women like uMama are everywhere so don’t let her get to you.  

Another question, what has your hubby said? Sit Sipho down and tell him how you feel. This is how you will know whether he will be a supportive husband or not. How he stands up to his mother over the way she treats you will be the determining factor in the success of your marriage.  

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Tags: Advice ColumnEastern CapeKing Williams TownLiewe LuluMakotiZwelitsha
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Noluthando Ngcakani

Noluthando Ngcakani

With roots in the Northern Cape, this Kimberley Diamond has had a passion for telling human interest stories since she could speak her first words. A foodie by heart, she began her journalistic career as an intern at the SABC where she discovered her love for telling agricultural, community and nature related stories. Not a stranger to a challenge Ngcakani will go above and beyond to tell your truth.

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Farmers in the south-western parts of the country can expect a slightly drier than usual spring. Photo: Supplied/Food For Mzansi

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15th August 2022
This week's Agri calendar features a wine and food event, an online discussion on biofilms the dairy industry and another on cutting fertiliser costs. There's also a livestock auction to look out for and an online event about soil. Include your event to the calendar by emailing info@foodformzansi.com. Photo: Supplied/Food For Mzansi

This week’s agriculture events: 15 to 18 August 2022

15th August 2022
Andile Matukane, founder of Farmers Choice and Devroll Legodi, founder of Devroll Herbs, joined a recent session of Food For Mzansi’s Gather To Grow on twitter o discuss the cultivation of spring onions in Mzansi. Photo: Supplied/Food For Mzansi

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This drone is collecting data which farmers can then access on the yield management platform. Photo: Supplied/Aerobotics

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Farmers, trust your intuition and go with your gut

Agripreneur 101: Regeneration at the heart of this salt company

R350 grant puts sisters on agri path to success

Farmer support: KZN municipality leads the way

ICYMI: Below-normal winter rainfall to continue

This week’s agriculture events: 15 to 18 August 2022

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