Rotten and forgotten from Klerksdorp in North West writes…
Liewe Lulu,
I farm with vegetables and have been running a small market in town since I met the woman of my dreams in 2017. My fiancé’s mother has never said a kind word to me since I met her. She constantly feels the need to praise bae’s exes whenever we visit.
My fiancé is an only child. Her mom is a single mother who constantly feels the need to belittle my achievements and make me feel inferior whenever I walk into a room.
I never took note of the silent jabs, but they have grown harsher since I proposed to her daughter last year. We are expecting our first child.
Before me, my fiancé lived with her ex. They were in a long-term relationship until he cheated on her. Yet, my future mother-in-law still sings his praises, telling me how her daughter made a mistake by trading a doctor for a farmer.
We usually spend weekends with her to “keep the peace.” My fiancé does defend me, but monster-in-law will usually react by sending her on a guilt trip.
I am desperate and do not know if I can deal with her insults any longer. I love this woman, but her mother is putting a strain on our relationship.
Mr Rotten-in-law, my love
Papi, do yourself a favour and take a page out of the Liewe Lulu Petty Handbook and get even. Simple. If your monster-in-law wants to play games, okay, let’s play.
At the end of the day, you love her daughter and she loves you. She must decide if she is going to be a roadblock, constantly singing the praises of a scumbag who cheated and broke her child’s heart over you, a beloved farmer who feeds the nation.
It is 2021. Sacrificing your time, energy, and sanity on her terms for the sake of peace is not going to fly anymore, sweetheart.
No matter how much of an elder you are, there is no room for low frequency, toxic-ass energies in these times. There is a pandemic out there and old sis wants to throw her toys out of the cot because she is not getting her way?
My good man, I suggest you build boundaries. Bring the old broad to compromise. Limit interactions with her until she promises to respect the family that you are trying to build with her daughter that you actually love.
And no weekend visits until she stops flapping her gob about the ex. Only then can you let her ass back into your sanctity by inviting her to your house for dinners.
Yes, she is a momma bear, but that is no excuse to make you feel inferior, crushing you with her praises of this ex-ghost. It’s the Sammy-Carrie-Austen saga all over again. And here I thought we left the iconic helicopter mom (Kate Roberts on Days of Our Lives) behind…
Old sis needs her bubble burst real quick. I sense she may be out to exterminate you from her daughter’s life. Watch your back, sweety, and remember, in 2021 boundaries are crucial to the survival of the beautiful life you are building with this trapped daughter.
