Broke Boermeisie from Klerksdorp in the North West writes…
Liewe Lulu,
I have a money problem that I cannot seem to avoid. My man has been working in his comfortable office job for nearly five years and makes a lot more than I do, while I decided to follow my passion and started a poultry business ten months ago.
Being new to the industry, I obviously have not seen a profit yet, but I am in it for the long run.
I am currently on a mission to try to stick to a budget, but Mo’Guy makes it hard. I cut down on shopping and expensive restaurant dates as well as trips because your girl is trying to make ends meet.
I will say to him outright, “Lovie let us make a nice romantic dinner at home,” to which he will agree, but at the last minute be on some, “Let us go out with Mohale and Refiloe”. Only when I refuse and hold firm in my no will he offer to pay.
I am a firm believer in gender equality and love to spoil my man, but I cannot keep this charade up any longer because nna khe broke in all honesty…
Can people who are not in the same financial bracket ever make it work? Because wow, I am bleeding cash, and I cannot keep up…
Broke Meisie, my Dearest,
Money conversations are difficult but necessary.
Sit “Richie Reckless” down and pour him your finest whiskey. As you snuggle up next to him, stroke his arm, then pull out a long Excel sheet with a formulated budget to show him you cannot afford to be reckless with your money at the moment.
Baby, it is no secret that money can sometimes be the root of trouble in a relationship. We are fully aware.
Money has this nasty ability to incite fear and anxiety in everyone and I would be lying if I said I have not been in an argument over some paper. I understand your trepidation!
Understand this, though: You and mans will never see eye to eye on everything, especially money matters and that is fine. You cannot force him into submission because you cannot do things. Live and let live, my darling.
You have explained that the budget is tight because you are pouring all your resources into this business venture, but I cannot help but wonder what purpose your boo’s impulsive spending habit serves? This is a question you need to raise to understand him and his needs better.
Your current concerns are not permanent because wena you are running a marathon to wealth. They are just for now akere.
At their core relationships are about growth with uncomfortable conversations as the fertiliser.
It is important, my angel, that you both acknowledge your separate financial strategies to avoid future bottled-up feelings that could see your union come to an end.
Treat this conversation as the first of many in your journey to get to know each other better. I suggest:
- Address upbringing: You are from entirely different backgrounds sweety, how he grew up with money and how you did are obviously different.
- Factor in your own assumptions: Your fears about money come from within you and can destroy your relationship. They do say assumptions are the mother of all eff-ups, they may bother you, but do they bother him?
- Make this money talk the first of plenty: This is an open and honest discussion from here on out.
