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Liewe Lulu: How do I cope with rejection?

Chronically Rejected from Hazyview in Mpumalanga writes…

Liewe Lulu,

What is the best way to move forward from rejection? Whether it is job or even romantic rejection?

I have been trying to get funding to farm my land for years but have been turned away at several doors that I have knocked on. It is wearing down my spirit slowly. I mean I love what I do, but without funding I fear I may soon have to give up.

Eish, people always tell me to try and try again and I have been doing that with no luck. Please help, what should I do?

My Dearest Rejected,

As a creative I am all too familiar with your conundrum. It is called the sting of rejection for a reason, because that is exactly what it feels like. You reach out with the intention of plucking a promising bloom – which can be a love interest, a job or even a funding opportunity – only to receive a surprising and upsetting brush-off that feels like a personal attack.

That’s enough to make you want to retreat into your shell and never put yourself out there ever again, but you must!

Bopelo ke ntwa, my darling (life is a fight) – and that is exactly what you must do.

You say you have grown tired of people encouraging you and preaching about the power of positive thinking?

Kanti wena what do you want to do? Wallow and feel sorry for yourself? Keep it pushing mos, that funding you seek won’t fall into your lap.

Exhaust all avenues until you are exhausted. Fight tooth and nail to make your mark. Break and break until you are whole again.

Also understand this in order to move forward and progress:

  1. Rejection is pain – No really, it activates the same parts of the brain that physical pain does.
  2. Process your hurt feelings – There are five stages of grief and acceptance is the goal. Accept that you are a human with emotions. Allow yourself time to feel what you are feeling.
  3. Heal your ego – Use the power of positive thinking. What qualities do you have that make you da bomb? Focus on those to curb that negative self-talk after the blow to your ego.
  4. Thank you, next – A no is not the end of the world. What is next? You just had your sights set on that one opportunity? Oh, hell no. The world is your oyster; act like it and go claim what is yours

 

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Liewe Lulu

Sassy, classy and a bit bad assy, no stone goes unturned as Liewe Lulu answers all your love woes. She's a ball of wisdom with all the answers to your burning questions, from personal hygiene to getting and bedding your lover. Liewe Lulu has got you covered.

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