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Liewe Lulu: My married boyfriend has been distant

We have been together for four years and he has recently begun to change

Side-peaced from Muldersdrift in Gauteng writes…

Liewe Lulu

I met my soul mate nearly four-years ago. While it was not love at first sight for me, I somehow grew to love him. He was adamant in his pursual of me, I got to know him, and he has just knocked me off my feet.

He is very kind, sweet, driven and runs his own business as a beef farmer.

Our connection is so deeply rooted that I cannot imagine my life without him.

But the trouble is, Lulz, the love of my life has a wife…

Before I started dating him I used to swear to myself that I would never date a married man and now here I am so in love and caring for this man whose heart and flesh belong to another.

When we started dating, I used to get all his attention, we would go on the most exciting spur of the moment trips, I was spoiled and felt like he was fully mine.

We have even been gifted a beautiful two-year-old child whom he supports financially but lately does not make time for.

Things have kind of become weird in the relationship. Before he was all about me, could not wait to spend time with me, could not keep his hands off me. Now I am lucky to get a phone call from him.

When we do have plans, he cancels last minute because his friends invited him out for drinks. I have told him how I feel like he is choosing his friends over me because they are interfering with my time. He just shrugs and tells me I am making a big deal out of things and how if he wanted to be nagged, he would have just stuck with his wife.
I am beginning to lose trust in his love and promises, because he does not live up to them lately.

I suspect he wants out but will not say it because he now hardly makes time to see me. We talk on the phone once in a while, but I have since stopped calling him.

As a baby mama I also honestly cannot and will not force him to spend time with his child.

Every time I suggest we part ways, he refuses. I am tired of fighting and forcing, how do I end things?

Peace my dearest,

Ah, and so, it happened, a woman met a man, he introduced her to sun rays she has never seen. The earth stopped. The conversations were rich, the sex even richer. Since she met him her feet did not touch the ground. Was this love, she wondered?

Nope.

A dark cloud plagues their blissful love bubble. She is not the only one.

He would be a mad man to let go of such a gem.

His life is… complicated. And so she makes it “better”.

Drunk on words she makes the decision to take ownership of a label that would make the old church ladies blush. “The OTHER woman.”

With this new label she must BE easy, free, amicable, silent. What a load of rubbish. Nothing glamorous about being a side piece, right?

I am happy you want out; you and your child deserve better. With your last shreds of dignity and all the poise you can muster be firm in your decision to end your involvement in his infidelity.

His words may be as smooth as honey dripping down your ear canal, but they are all lies and have created a bit of an ant problem.

This man was in all of two relationships at the same time, one that was exciting, new, and fresh and the other with someone he has a history with and memories with. Someone he was committed too.

He has clearly made his choice. Make things easier for him by cutting the cords of communication. All communication will be focused on your child, nothing more.

The truth is the man you fell in love with was only a portion of the whole man.

Affairs never have the best outcome for any of the parties involved. Someone will always pull the short stick and end up screwed. In this case that person is you.

And the hard truth is men will embarrass you!

Your sweet, kind man has begun to unmask himself by actively showing you that, compared to his wife, you and your child are second fiddle. You were once his escape, be your own now.

Why settle for crumbs when you deserve your own cake?

Let him deal with his complicated life, you do the same for your sake and your child’s.

E-mail your fave no-holds-barred agri agony aunt

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Liewe Lulu

Sassy, classy and a bit bad assy, no stone goes unturned as Liewe Lulu answers all your love woes. She's a ball of wisdom with all the answers to your burning questions, from personal hygiene to getting and bedding your lover. Liewe Lulu has got you covered.

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