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in Liewe Lulu, Lifestyle

Farmer: How do I break up with my mooch of a friend?

by Noluthando Ngcakani
2nd April 2021
This farmer asks if she should continue her friendship with a leech. Liewe Lulu says, "Bona darli it is 2021, we left parasites in 2020." Photo: Food For Mzansi

This farmer asks if she should continue her friendship with a leech. Liewe Lulu says, "Bona darli it is 2021, we left parasites in 2020." Photo: Food For Mzansi

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Hosted, from George in the Western Cape writes…

Liewe Lulu…

What do you do when your friend is a user?

I met her in Johannesburg while I was studying six years ago. As soon as I finished, I decided to return home and help my parents grow their dairy business.

She stayed behind but somehow has this tendency to make me feel as if I am obliged to fund her lifestyle. She always expects me to bail her out when she is in a tight spot.

The industry we work in comes with its own fair share of problems and I will never give up no matter how hard it gets. My success is slow, but eventually it will pay off. 

Recently she had car trouble and asked me to send her a ridiculous amount of money, knowing full well that my current situation would not allow me to just dip into my funds. When I politely refused and explained that I did not have the money, she threw a tantrum.   

It is not the first time that she has expected this much of me. In the six years I have known this person it always feels like she is using me.

What is the break-up protocol with a friend?

She also has a bit of shadiness about her and is constantly shaming me for choosing the farm girl life, but I am happy on my path.

My Dearest Host doing the most…

Bless your heart for still calling her a friend when she is but a parasite, unsuccessful in her mission to bleed you dry.

Ms Warsan Shire once wrote, “But sometimes your light attracts moths and your warmth attracts parasites, protect your space and your energy.”

Her reaction to a boundary you put up is really sh*tty.

We have all had toxic scumbags dust us with their poison. Difficult people are drawn to the reasonable ones, the empaths who have had one or two scumbags in our lives who have us bending ourselves over and under in endless attempts to please them. They still have the stones to be ungrateful, nogal.

So, she threw her toys out the cot because you refused to give her your hard earnings?

Wa nyontsha!

https://giphy.com/gifs/brooklynninenine-nbc-brooklyn-nine-b99-QvwTobPrxyfPJ1XCDe

Bathong, wish her ass a happy life by ignoring her from now on. For the sake of your own peace and happiness let her go on her merry way.

Imagine someone demands money from your pockets? Kanti did you give birth to her? Are you her mother? She can walk out the door and let it slam her on the caboose as she walks out.

Write to Ma Bokwe

Ma Bokwe is Food For Mzansi’s fearless agri agony aunt. Got a love, life, or farm-heartache question? Priority goes to anyone in the agricultural world, because yes, farmers and workers have feelings too, and Ma Bokwe’s got the tissues… and the tea.

 

Noluthando Ngcakani

With roots in the Northern Cape, this Kimberley Diamond has had a passion for telling human interest stories since she could speak her first words. A foodie by heart, she began her journalistic career as an intern at the SABC where she discovered her love for telling agricultural, community and nature related stories. Not a stranger to a challenge Ngcakani will go above and beyond to tell your truth.

Tags: Agri agony auntLiewe LuluWarsan Shire
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