Mrs Pick-me from Johannesburg writes
Liewe Lulu…
I am not a woman with very high expectations when it comes to finding a mate. In fact, I like to think of myself as the lowest maintenance girlfriend in the world. It does not take much to make me happy, all I need is support, transparency, and emotional availability.
I run a little rooftop garden in Jozi, and I know that finding “Mr Right” will take patience. But I am 27 and growing frustrated with the slim pickings in these streets, sis.
My last relationship ended a year ago and left me shattered, but I am healing and trying to move on. This has proved difficult, though, and I have now resorted to random encounters of the Tinder variety.
I swipe right and the nearest meat parcel will come knocking at my door. I guess I am hoping that one would stay for longer than just one night of passion…
The thought of never finding a man to be happy with scares me. And I want babies.
Not to blow my own horn, but I think I have all the qualities of a great girlfriend. Hell, wife even. I am not a clingy psycho, I think I’m funny, pretty, passionate, driven and a generous lover. I just don’t get it, where is my Mr Right?
My dearest Mrs Pick-me
I must admit that you and Liewe Lulu are in the same boat. I also spend my lonely nights huddled in a fleece blanket waiting for some big man with huge guns to break down my door and sweep me off my feet. But alas, that is wishful thinking (and malicious damage to property) I suppose.
Instead of letting your inner lioness loose as you hunt for the illusive perfect man, shift your focus and imagine that you are a magnet instead. Draw him to you.
Manifest, babes! And relax your Tinder-tired thumbs while also practicing patience, my sweet. He will make himself visible soon enough and in the most unexpected way.
While you have my stamp of approval on getting your fill of meat parcels, you must remember, my darling, that we are in the covid-19 storm, so be careful. You never know where those men have been, and it is risky letting them in and out your door especially during this lockdown period.
Also note, my fellow lonely sister, that hook-ups are hook-ups. They will very rarely culminate in a serious relationship. So, lower your expectations of finding love in the Tinderverse. We will not all strike gold the moment we swipe right.
E-mail your fave no-holds-barred agri agony aunt
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