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in Liewe Lulu, Lifestyle

Farmer’s past comes back to haunt her

by Noluthando Ngcakani
30th April 2021
veg farmer, karoo

A selfish lover is irksome yes, but finding satisfaction from someone else will only make matters worse, says Liewe Lulu. Photo: FFM

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Spooked from Tarlton in Gauteng writes…

I went on three dates with a Tinder match and thought things were going well. We texted and talked on the phone nearly every day until he stopped responding.

As a vegetable farmer, I do not have the time to focus my energy on my dating life but figured I might as well try my hand at this Tinder thing. When we met, he was just my type – good-looking, ambitious – and I caught feelings. I really enjoyed our month of dating.

He runs his own business, and before he stopped talking to me, we would communicate regularly via texts and video calls.

Out of the blue he started making excuses to cancel planned dates. This would send me into a panic, and I would call and text to check if he was okay. It turns out I was doing too much, eventually he blocked me on social media and even blocked my number.

I went crazy. I decided to send some texts to his business number because I was worried and wanted to let him know that he could count on me. His assistant called back and went on to tell me that he asked that I stop sending him messages and that he would no longer like to be involved with me.

I understood and so I backed off. I was hurt. Well, months have passed but he recently hit me up in my DM’s and asked if we could meet up for drinks. I am honestly considering it; I have missed him.  

Is it a good idea to reignite our dating relationship after months of silent treatment?

My Dearest Spooky sis…

Wait, are you a freaking Ghostbuster?

Oh, honey no. Snap out of it. Get a grip. Wake the hell up and keep taking your L’s like the boss you are. 

I must be frank here because giving that cockroach a second chance would be a bloody unforgiveable crime against both your self-respect and your self-worth.

Matter of fact, where is the Doom!? Oust that pest from your past. What nerve he has creeping out of random crevices like the roach he is! He is a menace man. A sociopath.

https://giphy.com/gifs/Grittv-duke-john-wayne-the-pzFB1KY4wob0jpbuPa

Let me tell you my Spooked friend, the art of ghosting is as ancient as dating itself in this economy. But does that mean it is a forgivable offence in the Liewe Lulu Chronicles? Nope.

Did he show up at your window with a boombox blasting “Let’s Stay Together” by Al Green? Did he write you long romantic letters for every month you spent apart, pouring his heart out about how he regrets losing you? No, he had the cheek to slide into your DM’s after he blocked you. That is not very romantic in my books. Where is the charm?

Chemistry is one thing, but what your short relationship lacked was respect.

Ghosting any child of God is the most disrespectful act imaginable. It is embarrassing and it hurts. I mean, why not be open and honest and just tell you that he was not interested?

And now, worse yet he has chosen a DM as his shot at redemption?

Mjolo ke movie wa tseba, and this haphazard move is a trap in my opinion.

I do not often tell people to choose violence. Your girl is all about peace, serenity and love in 2021. But in this case gloves must come off.

We do not tolerate nonsense.

I suggest the thirstiest thirst trap imaginable to bring him to his damn knees. Channel your inner IG model. Obvi, he will follow-up with another DM, but this time leave his ass on read, then move on to a man who will respect TF out of you.

You are only worthy!

When someone so brazenly avoids you, avoideka my love! Return the favour.

Do not allow that roach to resurface.

Write to Ma Bokwe

Ma Bokwe is Food For Mzansi’s fearless agri agony aunt. Got a love, life, or farm-heartache question? Priority goes to anyone in the agricultural world, because yes, farmers and workers have feelings too, and Ma Bokwe’s got the tissues… and the tea.

Noluthando Ngcakani

With roots in the Northern Cape, this Kimberley Diamond has had a passion for telling human interest stories since she could speak her first words. A foodie by heart, she began her journalistic career as an intern at the SABC where she discovered her love for telling agricultural, community and nature related stories. Not a stranger to a challenge Ngcakani will go above and beyond to tell your truth.

Tags: Agri agony auntLiewe LuluRomanceTinder
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