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Home Liewe Lulu

Insecure farmer: ‘I want to be in the big leagues’

by Noluthando Ngcakani
12th March 2021
in Liewe Lulu, Lifestyle
Reading Time: 4 mins read
A A

How can you even begin to think you are useless when you are entrusted with the task of putting food on the tables of South African households. Photo: Food For Mzansi

Farming fraud from Lephalale in Limpopo writes…

Liewe Lulu

Why do I feel like I am not on the same level as my farming colleagues? I see them on Twitter and see all these big steps that they have made, while my own progress is slow.

I am 28 and started farming with a small cattle herd and a few hectares of maize crops on communal land in 2018.

When I started, I was proud of myself for turning to the land for wealth. My business is slow, but my small rewards keep it going and I am thankful.

I follow some farmers on social media and have seen them make huge progress, they have bigger herds, larger lands and they’re younger and have not been farming as long as I have. What bothers me is that I have been feeling a little insecure when I am asked for advice about farming.

I feel like I am not good enough to share my knowledge. I feel insecure about the slow pace I have made and inadequate in terms of my place in the sector.

Am I doing something wrong? Were they giving out land and cattle somewhere?

I feel so insecure when someone asks how long I have been farming and where my business is now.

I cannot stop comparing myself to them. Please help.

Fraudster, my dearest…

Darli kanti did we invite self-loathing and Imposter Syndrome into 2021 with us and I missed the memo?

Comparison is the killer of all progress last time I checked.

While you are busy in your quest to cut yourself down and wanting to be like everyone else, you forget that everyone is wired differently mo lefatseng.

Be effing original, man! We cannot all move at the same pace, where is the fun in that? Struggles and overcoming them make the journey special. It builds character.

I do have a kweshin though. Who hurt you?

Who broke you down to the extent where you are convinced that what you must bring to the table has no value?

Lauren Hashian Wtf GIF by swerk - Find & Share on GIPHY

In today’s world information is king, my friend. What you think worthless is a road map for another farmer on the up and up looking for guidance. Do not be selfish.

You have internalised your negative thoughts to a point where you are convinced you are unworthy. Feeling like you cannot measure up to your own standards has made you lonely, disconnected and a little bitter, if I am being honest. And I am concerned.

There is also nothing wrong with wanting more, but you must keep working towards it. What you desire will not miraculously appear before your eyes at the snap of a finger. Only Aladdin’s genie could do that, and last time I checked we are not in a Disney movie?

Social media is but a window into the lives of other people, my love. Just because you seened it in the tweets or the ’gram does not make it their reality. You can never assume someone has arrived by a mere post. Allow other children to #humblebrag without embedding yourself as the reason for their post.

Chill, dammit.

The mere fact that you work to feed the nation makes you an asset in this country. Turn down that radio show of negativity that you have been listening to in your head.

Set the record straight and cancel that ugly Imposter Syndrome and its filthy lies. You are enough.

Write to Liewe Lulu

Liewe Lulu is Food For Mzansi’s agri agony aunty. The content in this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical and/or psychological advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of a qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding any medical condition.

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Tags: Agri agony auntemotional well-beingfarming insecuritiesImposter SyndromeLiewe LuluSADAGSelf-Loathing
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Noluthando Ngcakani

Noluthando Ngcakani

With roots in the Northern Cape, this Kimberley Diamond has had a passion for telling human interest stories since she could speak her first words. A foodie by heart, she began her journalistic career as an intern at the SABC where she discovered her love for telling agricultural, community and nature related stories. Not a stranger to a challenge Ngcakani will go above and beyond to tell your truth.

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