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in Liewe Lulu, Lifestyle

Farmer torn between career and motherhood

by Noluthando Ngcakani
7th May 2021
This farmer wonders if she should choose family or the farm. Photo: Supplied/Food For Mzansi

This farmer wonders if she should choose family or the farm. Photo: Supplied/Food For Mzansi

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Compromising mother hen in Bloemfontein writes

I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy just four months ago. I am 35 and would like to get pregnant again soon, but I am worried that it will affect my business.

Alongside my husband of five years, I run a growing poultry business. My pregnancy reminded me that while men and women farmers are equal, there is great power as well as limits to being a female farmer.

It is 2021 and I wish I did not feel the way, but I do. I am caught in between my career and building my family. I am scared that by building this enterprise to leave a legacy for my children I am also not being a good mother to my son and a good wife to my husband.

Why must women still be the ones to compromise family or professional goals Lulz? Is it so wrong for me to want both?

My Dearest Hen

I think you are asking the wrong question, my love. The only reason to have kids is to enjoy them. Right?

The only thing that should matter to you is how much more enjoyment you can stand? And if your answer is more tiny humans then by all means, procreate.

The idea of bringing another human life into the world and the joy of seeing that tiny person grow through life is a powerful motivator for having a child.

Farming as a mother of a toddler and possibly another infant is a valorous deed. You are not only raising little humans, but you are growing food for the nation.

https://giphy.com/gifs/ionedigital-hellobeautiful-madamenoire-listen-to-black-women-20ANeiSPJUV25SR98U

Like you said it is 2021, you can do anything your heart desires, my babe. 20 000 women did not march to the Union Buildings for nothing. Women do not hold the sole responsibility of having children just because men cannot birth them or breastfeed them.

Akere, you decided to become parents together. It takes two to create a new life and it takes a village to raise children. Support structure is crucial to raising a family.

Write to Ma Bokwe

Ma Bokwe is Food For Mzansi’s fearless agri agony aunt. Got a love, life, or farm-heartache question? Priority goes to anyone in the agricultural world, because yes, farmers and workers have feelings too, and Ma Bokwe’s got the tissues… and the tea.

Noluthando Ngcakani

With roots in the Northern Cape, this Kimberley Diamond has had a passion for telling human interest stories since she could speak her first words. A foodie by heart, she began her journalistic career as an intern at the SABC where she discovered her love for telling agricultural, community and nature related stories. Not a stranger to a challenge Ngcakani will go above and beyond to tell your truth.

Tags: Agri agony auntLiewe LuluMotherhood
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