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in Liewe Lulu, Lifestyle

Liewe Lulu: I’m a Mommy in distress…

by Noluthando Ngcakani
6th March 2020
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In over my head from Bisho in the Eastern Cape writes… 

I have three amazing little bambinos, but I fear that I am on the brink of a burn-out! 

As a working mother, running an aquaponic farm has not been an easy experience. When I started this business alongside my husband in 2017, I thought it would be a breeze. I thought to myself “hey, here is something I can leave behind for my children”. But between building a family legacy and wiping up snotty noses and being a wife, it has just become too much.  

At night I toss and turn thinking about whether my fish are getting enough nutrients, if the laundry’s clean and whether my babies will grow up to achieve their wildest dreams. I’ve realised I am spread too damn thin and coping with everything is driving me insane! Please help! 

My Dearest In over her head 

When push comes to shove you need to also prioritize yourself, my angel. Yes, being a mother is a 24/7, round–the–clock job, but you sound like you could do with a bit of me–time, nana. Being a burnt-out mom is not only bad for you, but it’s also bad for the people around you. 

You need to take care of you, you deserve it! In the words of RuPaul, “if you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” So, make it a point to practice self-care and DELEGATE duties, before you lose your s**t.  

We need to get into the business of taking care of ourselves so that we are replenished enough to give to others. You are running on empty, so take a deep breath, step back and share some of the kid duties with your hubby and your kids.  

Trust your husband, no matter how dismally you believe he will fail at taking care of the kids. Teach him and the kids how you want things to be done, so they know. Reset, readjust and refocus your priorities by all means necessary so that you can thrive and keep building your legacy. 

Noluthando Ngcakani

With roots in the Northern Cape, this Kimberley Diamond has had a passion for telling human interest stories since she could speak her first words. A foodie by heart, she began her journalistic career as an intern at the SABC where she discovered her love for telling agricultural, community and nature related stories. Not a stranger to a challenge Ngcakani will go above and beyond to tell your truth.

Tags: Advice ColumnFarmersFarmingMotherhood
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