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Liewe Lulu: ‘Is a summer romance looming?’

January through December has been a dry season for me and I want my groove back!

Deprived and Ready from Malelane in Mpumalanga writes…

Liewe Lulu,

So, I have been single for twelve whole months. And I think I am ready to get into a little bit of trouble with someone tall and beefy!

As a farmer in Malelane, the dating pool is, well, slim to say the least.

As a cattle farmer the only action I have seen was during mating season.

To get away and destress from the hectic year that was I am planning a cross-country girl’s trip to Hartebeesport and eventually Cape Town.

Lulz, your girl has needs and I am wondering if you have any guidance to offer on summer flings?

My dearest Deprived,

You are in for a treat because the prospects of any summer loving are Liewe Lulu’s favorite topic of interest!

I mean ke summer, temperatures and the length of dresses are rising. Meals are lighter, the vibes are on point. We need bevs on tap because we are thirsty. So, you go out and about with your friends to a local watering hole. You meet a couple of local brothers, one of them is saying all the right things, you hit it off and start thinking about all the things (filthy, or PG) you want to do with this guy.

Sexy What'S Up GIF by Bounce - Find & Share on GIPHY

He knows all the local spots to have fun and takes the initiative of inviting you to the next jol.

Disclaimer: Careful to observe all covid-19 regulations though. Masks on, social distance and home by 10! Please man. When Cupcake speaks we listen.

Anyways, love is tricky and usually strikes us when we least expect it!

Here are some Pros and Cons to weigh for your much-anticipated summer of amore:

PRO 1: Summer flings are super romantic! And so, it happened, we fell in love on the dancefloor and the rest was history. I mean we have all watched Stella Get Her Groove Back with a whole Taye Diggs and any woman would be nuts not to want to emulate that vibe. Set scene for nights of freedom on the town, random frisky dates, I am here for it all!

CON 1: He might be a colossal ass. So, you want to hit it and quit and suddenly he matches this energy. Oh well.

PRO 2: Summer flings offer an abstract release. We are present, in the moment, the tantalising kisses, the orgasms. We are actively immersed in the relations.

CON 2: What family? What friends? We’re so stuck in the moment we forget about our loved ones. Yes, we’ve arrived at love station but also, we are stuck at neglectful child station.

PRO 3: Any fling is memory loaded. I mean we are smitten and connecting with the brother. No work, no annoying alarms, just love vibes.

CON 3: It can never be just you. “Rentals” are come one come all akere. Highest bidder gets the deal!

PRO 4: Pure uncut joy at your disposal. Kisses, sex on dial, lust have all the makings of a joyful summer break!

CON 4: Agh, feelings. God forbid you are human and start to feel a slight twinge in your baby box and your chest cavity. The strokes are hitting all the right spots and now you want more, check yourself sis.

PRO 5: Sexy time, unspoken fountain of youth. Summer glows don’t just come from pearls of sweat dripping down your face. You will be walking around with a permanent “she got it all this morning” face.

CON 5: Any fling is fleeting. Dancefloor love has an expiration date. It was intense, get ready for an intense goodbye.

E-mail your fave no-holds-barred agri agony aunt

Liewe Lulu

Sassy, classy and a bit bad assy, no stone goes unturned as Liewe Lulu answers all your love woes. She's a ball of wisdom with all the answers to your burning questions, from personal hygiene to getting and bedding your lover. Liewe Lulu has got you covered.

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