Pressed from Louis Trichardt in Limpopo writes…
My bae is a farmer and runs a whole 35-hectare potato enterprise on the outskirts of town.
He is my #FarmerCrush, smart, reliable and honourable, and I mean every word of it.
At his core, he is just a good man with amazing qualities. My issue, though, is that my desires to have sex with him are dwindling over his lack of enthusiasm and appreciation when I try to look good for him.
Every chance I get, I show him some appreciation. But he never returns the gesture. I need him to whisper sweet nothings in my ears, tell me I am beautiful, sexy and that I look good.
I recently went on a weight-loss journey and I am happy with the results. I want to show it off for him and for him to acknowledge it.
When he does say something, it’ll be a “babe, those pants look okay.” when pushed, he will add a “you look fine,” to keep me quiet.
He tells me he loves me and that I am the most important person in his life. I am not complaining, but I need to be desired. I want to feel irresistible.
Am I asking for too much?
My Dearest Pressed and stressed,
Bathong, mo’guy. Is he blind? Shy? Suffering from a stroke perhaps? I am trying to fathom what on earth could spark this lack of affirmation.
No one deserves to live even a day without being admired by their significant other – no matter how long you have been together. The chase can never end once he has got you in his grasp.
But now here is where you leave Liewe Lulu a bit confused: your bae is affirming you with his adoration. And not the way you want to be affirmed?
My rants about love languages may be tiresome by now? But let me educate you real quick. There are five: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time and physical touch.
Yours, my darling Pressed, is clearly the affirmation. Who in their right mind doesn’t like a compliment? I mean an actual somebody and a somebody that you love has taken time to appreciate you?
While I may agree that a girl needs to be appreciated, let us not forget that men are not mind readers. Bless their souls. Sit mans down and communicate the way you want to be affirmed. Get in the business of showing people how you want to be loved.
Don’t be selfish though. Understand that while you may have needs, that man does too. It can never be just about you.
You could possibly be on entirely different wave lengths here. Remember, you have also just made a dramatic transformation with your weight loss, while you are feeling great and he sees it, maybe he is feeling just smidge insecure?
The express train of love is powered by COMMUNICATION.
You and your man need to have a heart-to-heart talk about how you are both feeling. Speak up for yourself and afford him the same courtesy so you may reach a consensus.