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in Liewe Lulu

Liewe Lulu: Should I quit while I am still ahead?

by Noluthando Ngcakani
6th November 2020
Self-rejection though, it could stand in the way of you and your happiness. Photo: FFM

Self-rejection though, it could stand in the way of you and your happiness. Photo: FFM

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Derailed in Sabie, Mpumalanga writes…

Liewe Lulu…

I am a 33-year-old vegetable farmer in Mpumalanga and my dating history has not been the best.

Well, that was until last year when I met the woman of my dreams and I have fallen very deeply in love with her. After years of being a bachelor who would do as he pleased, I honestly didn’t even think it was possible for me to love.

But hey, here we are. This woman is generous, kind, considerate, patient, stunning, intelligent, driven, independent, I could go on.

I love her. My trouble is, baby was offered a job in Johannesburg and now has to move. While I am proud of her, and happy she finally gets to do what she loves I have no desire to follow her to the city as I am committed to growing my own enterprise. I hoped we would eventually grow it together.

I don’t want to lose her, but the thought of being in a long-distance relationship is not an ideal situation for me.

I grew up a son of the soil, my whole life is on this farm, while she is set to flourish in the city, and I don’t want to hold her back.

I just don’t see the point of building a future with someone who does not have plans to live in the same area as me in the future. Does that make me selfish? Please help?

Derailed, my dearest lamb…

Sugarfoot, you realize there are many advancements being made in the transportation industry, since automaker, Henry Ford, built the first Ford in 1903, yes? These new advancements have made travel all the more effortless, nowadays.

You are so rooted in the soil that you fail to see the alternative opportunity your beloved’s new venture presents. Adventure, my good man!

I mean are you nuts, even considering calling it quits with this dime piece?

In your own words, my reformed Casanova, “I didn’t think it was possible for me to love.”

Now look at you. Swooning, gushing even, over this woman who has clearly made quite the impression on you.

Now you, my lovie, want to let that go over 380 kilometres of distance? Haibo.

You are a couple of crazy young kids in love, without children, so here are a couple of scenarios. She moves, starts her new job, and you visit for extended weekends bi-monthly. Her new journey is an opportunity for memorable getaway trips with you. The world is your oyster, when both your cups runneth empty, replenish them with some travel!

And finally. Experiment. Yes, the distance and adjustment are difficult, but use this space that was created by a new opportunity to explore the prospect of loving but living apart.

Don’t throw in the towel. Do not self-reject, the streets are bloody lonely!

E-mail your fave no-holds-barred agri agony aunt

[contact-form to=”noluthando@foodformzansi.co.za” subject=”Liewe Lulu, please help…”][contact-field label=”Name” type=”name” required=”1″][contact-field label=”Message” type=”textarea”][/contact-form]

Noluthando Ngcakani

With roots in the Northern Cape, this Kimberley Diamond has had a passion for telling human interest stories since she could speak her first words. A foodie by heart, she began her journalistic career as an intern at the SABC where she discovered her love for telling agricultural, community and nature related stories. Not a stranger to a challenge Ngcakani will go above and beyond to tell your truth.

Tiger Brands CEO Tjaard Kruger addressed farmers at the Swartland Show in Moorreesburg in the Western Cape on Friday. Design: Food For Mzansi
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