Guilty Cougar from Ermelo, Mpumalanga writes…
I married my farmer husband – who is the perfect man – at 20. It has been 28 beautiful years and we have three beautiful adult children. They have left the nest and it is just the two of us. We farm with chickens and some grains; our life is perfect.
But there are many stresses in our life. They are mostly related to our extended family. For one, I am 48 and they still insist on treating me like a makoti, and are always telling me what to do with my life.
They believe I should be barefoot in the kitchen, while I have spent my life building a career.
I work in town and have become friends with a young and handsome guy there. I enjoy talking to him. He is single and makes jokes and asks me if I am “still married”.
I would never think of cheating on my husband, we never argue and have a solid marriage. He does give me a lot of attention, but I am also enjoying the attention from this young buck at work. Why do I feel weird about it?
My Dearest Miss Kitty…
You are only human and the attention you are receiving is flattering. Flirting is defined as behaving in a way that shows a sexual attraction for someone, but at the same time it is not meant to be taken seriously. The definition is true for some innocent flirting, but we all know some people have bigger intentions.
Men flirt for six main reasons: to get sex, explore what it would be like to be in a relationship, to strengthen a relationship, to try to get something to increase their self-esteem and to have fun.
What a buffet of options.
Your situation is tricky because you can so easily cross the blurred lines of innocent fun and intentional infidelity.
You do not say whether your husband was aware of the flirtation. If he isn’t, maybe that is the reason why you are so riddled with guilt.
I think it’s time to clue your husband in. If you do, he may not object. However, if he is threatened, in the interest of keeping your perfect marriage perfect, let this friend know that from now on your communications will have to be strictly business.