Stray Lover from Kuruman in the Northern Cape writes…
Liewe Lulu,my fiancée and I met when we were 10 years old and we’ve been inseparable ever since. We grew up together,our families are closely linked,and our parents basically arranged the marriage when we were children.
I started working in Cape Town early this year and had to move from my Kuruman home. I must admit the freedom from the family pressure is a heavy weight from my shoulders. My fiancée stayed behind to attend to our family livestock farm. I travel often with this new job and I’ve since met another woman I have grown fond of.
Lesego and I started our new jobs about the same time, and we work closely together and often travel long hours with just each other’s company. It’s safe to say that we have grown close – a little too close– and I have now found myself in a compromising position where I risk breaking the heart of my intended.
I Feel guilty about the decisions that I have made, believe me, but I can’t help but ask myself if I still want to marry my fiancé. I have always known that I would end up with her because it was expected of me. But now that I have seen what else is on offer,I am conflicted. My fiancée is an amazing woman,but I do not love her anymore. She deserves better and I’m in love with another. Please help me.
My dearest Stray Lover…
Weitse keng neh, (you know what) dishonesty is venomous in any relationship. Cheating on someone you are committed to is disrespectful and just wastes the time of everybody involved. By the looks of things, you’ve fallen out of love with your fiancée and into bed with another and playing with someone else’s heart is no joke.
Firstly, tell your new love interest to wait until you’ve figured this mess out. Second, decide if this is all just lust or real love with Lesego, and, thirdly, be honest with your fiancée. You can’t have your bread buttered on both sides, so either call off the engagement and be honest or end your new love affair.
Also, I’m sure you’ve heard this one before, but honesty is the best policy. Grow some balls, boo, and be open. And stop playing with people’s hearts!