SIMPly stuck from Zeerust in the North West writes…
Nomsa is my queen but she just does not know it yet. I am a SIMP, buried deep inside the friendzone and I cannot crawl out, no matter how I try.
I am comfortable being friends for now because I have not actually told her how I feel. I am a bit scared too, I must admit.
Lulz, Nomsa is the one, honestly. She has all the qualities of the woman I see myself building a future with. She is beautiful, highly intelligent, challenges me and always encourages me to do better and want better for myself.
I am not too bad either and as a budding entrepreneur with a booming vegetable enterprise I like to think my life is in order.
Recently, though, I found out that her best friend likes me. While there is nothing wrong with her, she is not Nomsa. I do not know if I like her back or feel the same way about her.
I feel stuck. Do I give up on Nomsa and give this woman who wants me a chance, or do I hold onto Nomsa and wait for my shot?
My Dearest SIMPleton
Oh no, my baby, your story has all the makings of those trashy reality TV shows Liewe Lulu loves so much! I hate to say it, but it sounds like you are embroiled in a love triangle of MTV’s Are You The One proportions.
While these are fascinating to watch on-screen, in real life they are a debilitating experience, muddled with pain, ruminative uncertainty and a side dish of emotional suffering.
But just hold on a minute. You, my dear, are actively choosing to suffer in silence.
Carpe diem! What do you have to lose? Get a grip and communicate.
What is it that you are waiting for Nomsa to do, exactly? Catch a whiff of pheromones? And now she must just smell that you are in love with her? Her primal instincts must take control? Haibo.
Speak up. You won’t die if you express your feelings towards her and find out if they are reciprocated or not. Bite the bullet and see where it goes. If she secretly likes you back then yay! But if it’s a no, move on and douse that torch you have been holding for her.
What is more concerning though is the other woman. Don’t be so haphazard about who you give your heart to. Women are not options that you can just pick and choose for the sake of not being lonely.
You can’t get Nomsa, now she must be an interim lover? A benchwarmer? No, sir!
Tell her you are not interested and make her understand it. If you don’t feel the same, then you don’t. You can’t force love. She deserves someone who will willingly give themselves to her and that is not you. Clearly. Also learn to accept that some things are simply not meant to be.
E-mail your fave no-holds-barred agri agony aunt