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in Liewe Lulu

No, dear farmer, you are not worthless

by Noluthando Ngcakani
19th February 2021
A farmer asks why his love interest does not feel the same way? If the writing is on the wall written in black and red ink, then it is a no. A mixed signal is a signal, take your L and move on. Photo: Food For Mzansi

A farmer asks why his love interest does not feel the same way? If the writing is on the wall written in black and red ink, then it is a no. A mixed signal is a signal, take your L and move on. Photo: Food For Mzansi

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Unloved from Springbok in the Northern Cape writes…

Liewe Lulu,

So, I am going through a rough patch with a younger girl I am currently seeing. She is a little younger than me, but girls do mature faster than boys.

I am 30, and recently decided to farm full-time on a 30-hectare piece of land I acquired, while she is 22 and studying in Pretoria.

We have been on and off for a little over a year. She has said she loved me a few times, but the next moment she tells me she doesn’t know how she feels about me.

She doesn’t even allow me to post her on social media and says her family won’t approve, but has no problem posting pictures with her so-called male friends.

I have confronted her about it a couple of times, but our last conversation ended awkwardly with me even being blocked.

Through all the ups and downs she became my best friend and if I am being honest, I have fallen in love with her. Now I can’t call her.

I am starting to believe that she is embarrassed of me, because I see her around and she ignores me.

What do I do? I feel worthless, what is wrong with me and why can’t she say she loves me?

Unloved my dearest…

There is nothing sexy about a man who cannot take no for an answer. This is especially true in the country we live in, where we have seen so many cases of gender-based violence and femicide (GBVF) begin along the lines of “she can’t not be interested in me.”

Women do not owe you sh*t. Check yourself, and your ego? Masculinity too, while you are at it?

https://giphy.com/gifs/rihanna-snl-shy-ronnie-75yYfqYy5tmHm

Now that we have observed protocol, I hope you have PPE for your feelings because this situation calls for no nuance.

That girl is not in a relationship with you.

The second you did not DTR (define the relationship) in your letter, red flags went up. How are you going through a rough patch whilst you are not in a relationship with the subject of your anguish?

Never in the history of womanhood would a human of the female variety not claim a man she wanted to. We dive in heart, and honey pot first, then head later, and you would know if she was into you.

I must acknowledge, sis flipped the script, though.

What honestly irks me is how diabolical this bloody nincompoop is and now has you questioning your entire worth as a human and even more so one who literally has undertaken the mammoth responsibility of feeding a country?

She is a freaking narcissist of note who refuses to set you free to find happiness, at what cost? Her inconvenience? Cut her ass loose my boer brother.

Also, when the heart wants what the heart wants, do we have time to give a sh*t about parental approval?

She is all of 22 and has no qualms posting other men but you, because she does not want people to know you exist.

Writing is on the wall darling, and written in Arial black, “She is just not that into you.”

This scumbag has unlocked a level of SIMP that has made you an OPTION with all the boyfriend perks and zero obligation.

Take the hint and heal my baby. She is not the one, you deserve better.

Write to Ma Bokwe

Ma Bokwe is Food For Mzansi’s fearless agri agony aunt. Got a love, life, or farm-heartache question? Priority goes to anyone in the agricultural world, because yes, farmers and workers have feelings too, and Ma Bokwe’s got the tissues… and the tea.

Noluthando Ngcakani

With roots in the Northern Cape, this Kimberley Diamond has had a passion for telling human interest stories since she could speak her first words. A foodie by heart, she began her journalistic career as an intern at the SABC where she discovered her love for telling agricultural, community and nature related stories. Not a stranger to a challenge Ngcakani will go above and beyond to tell your truth.

Tags: Agri agony auntLiewe LuluRejectionrelationship adviserelationship advise for farmers
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