Farmer’s Paradox from Taung in North West writes:
Liewe Lulu…
I turn 30 this year. the number seems to be freaking me out to the point where I want to evaluate a few things in my life and the path that I took.
Being a farmer is not an easy or straightforward road to travel. I do not see any sign of that changing. Despite this, it has been the only consistent thing in my life for the past five years.
I started a small mixed operation after my parents left me their farm when I turned 25. I had never identified myself as a farmer, if I am being completely honest, but I love producing food and being one with nature.
Despite my passion for farming, I have found myself in a slump. Tasks that once used to excite me now have me exhausted emotionally, mentally, and physically.
I am surrounded by many who are in this industry pursuing their heart’s calling. I am petrified though. I fear my passion has become a task, a burden and something I have grown to resent.
I fear my five-year passion has lost its spark and is becoming a chore. Please, help.
Shhhhh. Rest my darling, rest. Lay your head on my bosom and rest your very weary heart. Passions are our inherent identity, and a tricky, twisty, freaking rollercoaster, if we are being honest.
I mean, one day you are buzzing, on top of the world. Intoxicated on an unexplainable rush of adrenaline doing all the things you are meant to be doing.
The next day you are just this sad sack of sh*t, listless, wondering if the energy, joy and sparkle will come back. That low point comes and goes as it pleases and is damn debilitating.
But it is all part of loving what you do. Other columnists would tell your ass to quit! But its 2021, we don’t vibe with a defeatist mentality! We push.
When pursuing the thing you love does becomes a chore and does not spark up feelings inside you the way it once did, its heart-breaking.
Now it’s not just your bread and butter on the line here, your whole sense of self is threatened. A conundrum presents itself and you are wondering, maar who am I!?
Shut that little voice up and go rest, boo-boo. I hear springtime is beautiful in Paris.
My good friend in literary heaven, James Baldwin, writes, “He who finds no way to rest cannot long survive the battle.” Paradox, my dearest friend.
Step back and take a break. Your cup runneth on empty. A break from your passion is smart and gives you some breathing room to recommit energy into yourself and your craft. Not quitting, resting!
In his novel Hearts in Atlantis Stephen King does tell us, “A change is as good as a rest.”
Listen to Bra Steve, swerrie change can be restorative, refreshing and relaxing, darling.
ALSO READ: Liewe Lulu: ‘Did I imagine he loved me once?’
