Zoning Out from Port Shepstone, KwaZulu-Natal
Liewe Lulu
I am 26, farm with sheep and currently single. Finding the right mate has not been a particularly top priority for me. I put my heart and soul into the 64 hectares I am currently farming.
I have however been attracted to this one girl for the longest time, but she was taken.
He never treated her right and she would often confide in me. She is single now after calling it quits with the guy she was seeing.
I still want to be there for her, but I am worried that it would look like I am taking advantage of our friendship.
What can I do? I want to break free from the friend zone.
My Dearest Zoned
What a conundrum you have laid before Liewe Lulu. Balance me, babes: Why weren’t your feelings open and clear from the get-go?
Not to say that you became close friends to SIMP your way into a relationship, but this idea of you now waiting to say how you feel is a complete waste of time and keeps the object of your affection in the dark.
Bophelo ga se film darli, you should have said with your chest from the very beginning where you stood in terms of your interests.
You are in a delicate situation here. Not assassinating your character in any way, but these kinds of conundrums are not my favourite at all because it could border on predatory if you are not careful and absolutely certain that you want to risk your friendship with this woman.
Sis surely thinks that you are chomies, and that maybe true, but another dimension has now exposed itself in your current relationship.
You are in limbo almost where you are stopping yourself from expressing your feelings because you don’t want to look like “that guy” who takes advantage of her emotional turmoil.
Do not avoid the conversation. For you to salvage this mess you must tell her about your feelings while also making it clear that you do value your friendship and do not want to ruin it.
Be honest and clear.
I must warn you though – be careful. What you desire sometimes does not work out like you expect it to.
Do not romanticise the idea of being with her, understand that a romantic relationship is entirely different to the platonic relations you have been having.
I do wish you luck!
