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in Liewe Lulu, Lifestyle

Liewe Lulu: Do I face reality or choose love?

by Noluthando Ngcakani
7th August 2020
Always chose you, and most importantly chose love says Liewe Lulu, your designated agri agony aunt. Photo: Food For Mzansi

Always chose you, and most importantly chose love says Liewe Lulu, your designated agri agony aunt. Photo: Food For Mzansi

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Happiest chap in the world, from East London in the Eastern Cape, writes…

Liewe Lulu,

This past year with my girlfriend has been the best year of my life to date. My lady is a stunner, she is a 12/10 at best, has the brains to match, is experienced in matters of the sheets and helps to feed the nation. Did I mention she is a farmer?

My fellas are envious, and all of my female friends are intimidated by her. And when we do the things that lovers do, I feel like a king! We are loyal to each other and I don’t see myself falling out of love with her. In fact, I want to spend the rest of my life with her, but there is just one thing…

I am a 25-year-old bank-teller still trying to find his feet. I live with my parents and she is a gifted entrepreneur, funny, established, hot and 45.

Yhooo, Lulz. My female friends are constantly making digs about how we will never have babies together, how she will most likely die before me, and are always pressuring me to end things with her and settle with a woman my own age. And then there is my mom who does not approve of the age gap. My mom is 55.

I love my lady, but I am confused. The pressure has made the relationship a bit awkward. What do I do? Continue building a life with the woman I love? Or do I face reality and date women my own age?

Chappy, My Dearest

Perfect relationships are non-existent, and you are never going to find 100% of what you are looking for in anybody.

Your apprehensions about the relationship come from outside pressure and that is not fair to your beloved. So, buck up, stand up and love that fox the way she deserves to be loved.

She is 45? So what? The thing about dating older women is that they have no time to idle and wait for you to decide, so get your priorities straight. Either love and stay or give in and walk out the door.

Time is a fickle mistress, as the adage goes. And 20 years into the future, you yourself will be beaten with the age stick – thinned hairline, eyes filled with crows’ feet, your tight body awash with excess skin – and then what?

Decide, my baby. Will those eyes staring back in the mirror be filled with the regrets of letting go of the woman you love? Or will they be filled with uncontrollable joy because you chose to stay, and you chose to love this woman the way she deserves.

You can’t make everybody happy, choose you, choose love.

P.S. Women in their forties can have kids! And there are thousands of children waiting to be adopted into a loving home.

E-mail your fave no-holds-barred agri agony aunt

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Noluthando Ngcakani

With roots in the Northern Cape, this Kimberley Diamond has had a passion for telling human interest stories since she could speak her first words. A foodie by heart, she began her journalistic career as an intern at the SABC where she discovered her love for telling agricultural, community and nature related stories. Not a stranger to a challenge Ngcakani will go above and beyond to tell your truth.

Tags: Agri agony auntFarmer AdviceLiewe Lulurelationship advice for farmersRelationships
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