Frisky Kitty from Bhisho in the Eastern Cape writes…
What is important in a relationship in terms of texting and communicating? Is it normal to be on the phone with each other all day, or does a simple good morning text work just as well?
What are the boundaries?
I am a hydroponics farmer and spend most of my days in my tunnels, sometimes I forget my phone, but when I do text my new man, it’ll be like five texts back-to-back and a video-call.
I have no idea how to relationship anymore. All my exes called me “too much” and I do not want to be labelled as such ever again.
For the record: I am also a 36-year-old divorcee. Please, help. What would be considered an excessive number of texts?
Miss Frisky, dearest
First off, a moment of silence for the painfully single among us who are too traumatised to just “go with the flow”. You know, as all our booed-up and secure friends always said.
I hate to say it, but those lucky fish were right! Go with the flow, my lovie! Do not overthink it.
These are unusual times, and communication – whether it be text, call or Telegram – is crucial to maintaining and safeguarding personal relationships; more so in the age of Covid-19.
Also, in 2021, what does one do with a boyfriend? Do you pet it? Make sure it has enough food and play with it? Check if his water bowl is full enough?
As you navigate your budding romance, understand that the constructs of “too much” can only be detrimental if both partners are not on the same page.
There is no method to the madness. Literally communicate about communicating.
No one has time for murky expectations. We are adults and can discern between what kind of energy we are accepting of. Boundaries, akere? Otherwise, voetsek.
Sit baby down and establish boundaries and expectations. Clarity is clear to see, angel.
Fact: These are unusual times, communicating has changed, and love will always be tricky