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Hydroponics farmer: ‘Am I smothering my new boo?’

Liewe Lulu is Food For Mzansi’s no-holds-barred agri agony aunty. While she receives many letters from across South Africa, preference is given to those who are working in the agricultural sector. Yes, farmers have issues too, and Liewe Lulu’s got the tissues

Frisky Kitty from Bhisho in the Eastern Cape writes…

Liewe Lulu,

What is important in a relationship in terms of texting and communicating? Is it normal to be on the phone with each other all day, or does a simple good morning text work just as well?

What are the boundaries?

I am a hydroponics farmer and spend most of my days in my tunnels, sometimes I forget my phone, but when I do text my new man, it’ll be like five texts back-to-back and a video-call.

I have no idea how to relationship anymore. All my exes called me “too much” and I do not want to be labelled as such ever again.

For the record: I am also a 36-year-old divorcee. Please, help. What would be considered an excessive number of texts?

Miss Frisky, dearest

First off, a moment of silence for the painfully single among us who are too traumatised to just “go with the flow”. You know, as all our booed-up and secure friends always said.

I hate to say it, but those lucky fish were right! Go with the flow, my lovie! Do not overthink it.

These are unusual times, and communication – whether it be text, call or Telegram – is crucial to maintaining and safeguarding personal relationships; more so in the age of Covid-19.

Also, in 2021, what does one do with a boyfriend? Do you pet it? Make sure it has enough food and play with it? Check if his water bowl is full enough?


So What Whatever GIF by Mariah Carey - Find & Share on GIPHY

As you navigate your budding romance, understand that the constructs of “too much” can only be detrimental if both partners are not on the same page.

There is no method to the madness. Literally communicate about communicating.

No one has time for murky expectations. We are adults and can discern between what kind of energy we are accepting of. Boundaries, akere? Otherwise, voetsek.

Sit baby down and establish boundaries and expectations. Clarity is clear to see, angel.

Fact: These are unusual times, communicating has changed, and love will always be tricky


Write to Liewe Lulu

Liewe Lulu is Food For Mzansi’s agri agony aunty. The content in this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical and/or psychological advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of a qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding any medical condition.

Liewe Lulu

Sassy, classy and a bit bad assy, no stone goes unturned as Liewe Lulu answers all your love woes. She's a ball of wisdom with all the answers to your burning questions, from personal hygiene to getting and bedding your lover. Liewe Lulu has got you covered.


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