Mrs Pants from Bloemfontein writes…
My Dearest Mrs Pants
Bona, wena my love, are a revolutionary woman! I love it, I love you and I sure love your saint of a husband.
Just follow your heart already, and do it if it will bring you joy and happiness. It will be fantastic and it will be challenging but the two of you very clearly have the same mind on this one.
I must warn you, though: Make sure that your expectations are clearly and thoroughly discussed, even if it means you must put pen to paper and write them down. Discuss every single expectation you have for this new arrangement, or you will be disappointed.
Your boo sounds like a cool dude and I am sure that he is madly in love with you. But he might also want to explore this hiatus with some hobbies like painting, building furniture and stargazing – whatever floats his boat – when he is not doing house chores (or whisking you off to bed after he has fed you a well-deserved five-course dinner).
I don’t want you to be left questioning whether he’s really taking care of you, so set the expectations early in this new journey.
On your question about emasculating him: Well honey, no man can be emasculated unless, to some degree, he allows it.
A 2017 study published in The Journal of Sex Research found that men care less if their female partner wears the pants in the relationship than if it was the other way around. When men are subordinate in a relationship, it doesn’t bother them very much.
These wonderful men did not see the reversed power dynamics of their relationship as any less intimate or stable than relationships where men wore the pants. Those feelings will only come from people who are observing your relationship. Who cares, woman?
You are the architect of your own destiny, akere? So do you, and shut down the haters. Go live your unconventional truth and be happy!